WEEK 7 — STUMPY BURGER
This week, down one man, the Munchmobile headed to downtown Provo in search of a classic American favorite: a good old-fashioned cheeseburger. This noble crusade led our heroes to Stumpy Burger, located at 225 W. Center Street in Provo. Upon entering, we noticed that the restaurant is very minimalistic. The design was a simple, classic western motif; the only thing that really stood out was a variety of stuffed raccoons in the corner. We spoke with the owner for a few minutes who told us that Stump’ys specialty is just classic hamburgers. The menu was very simple as well, featuring essentially just a few different sizes of hamburgers, drinks and fries. Keeping it simple, we selected the burger size of our choice and sat down at the simple wooden tables to snack on some buckets of peanuts while we waited for our burgers.
I chose to munch upon a fine 1/4-pound. The beef was excellent quality, obviously freshly ground — the way a real burger should be made. None of these pre-fab patties from Costco at Stumpy Burger. The best part of the burger was definitely the cooked onions that were liberally applied. They were excellent and added that onion-y flavor I love so much to the burger.
Perhaps the best part of the meal was the fries that accompanied it: these were homcut and -fired potatoes, nothing from the frozen food section at Wal-Mart here. They were obviously cut and fried right in Stumpy’s kitchen, with a healthy dose of my favorite ingredient: salt. The accompanying fry sauce was also a special concoction. Completely different from any mayonnaise and ketchup combo at your local Arctic Circle this sauce had an unidentifiable taste to it, but it was something unique and quite good. The combo meal was $6.25 for the burger, fries and a drink. For that price, I guarantee you won’t find a burger of that quality anywhere else in the Utah Valley area. 4.5 out of 5 Raccoons.
Of all the burgers that I have tasted in the past year, I would go as far as to say that this burger was one of the most original. It all starts with the patty. This thing was a whole half pound of legitimate beef ferocity. It looked nothing like those perfectly round or square patties you find at fast food restaurants. The Stumpy Burger looked like it was hand-crafted right before it was thrown onto the grill. Just think of any cliched adjective regularly used to describes burgers and this one fits the bill.
Don’t worry, the cheese, onions and even the bun were also on their game. One of my favorite parts about this meal was the hearty fries and sauce. They call the stuff fry sauce, but trust me, this isn’t your typical Utah concoction. It’s got a myriad of deliciousness that I can’t really put into words. When it comes right down to it, this place is original and, here at the Munchmobile, that’s what we’re all about. 4.5 out of 5 buckets of peanuts.
Overall, we found Stumpy Burger to be a very original, excellently put together burger joint, all at a very affordable price. We highly recommend it as one of the best burgers in the Valley. 4.5 out of 5 fresh-cut fries.
For suggestions on where you’d like to see the Munchmobile head next week, leave a comment below, send an e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org or send a message on Twitter to @rhombusmag.
Ben Wagner and Jake Welch are correspondents for Rhombus. Their editor hasn’t met anybody who loves a hearty burger more than these munchers — except perhaps himself. Share you burger love with the Munchmobile crew @ben_wagner and @jraywelch.