The Daily Herald (my daytime employer, though I had nothing to do with the story) broke the news Tuesday night that starting center Brandon Davies will not complete the season because he violated the school’s Honor Code. The news is a big blow. And though I can’t make a decent prediction about the consequences of the news, nothing good can come if it.

But while Davies obviously let down his team and community, an equal share of culpability goes to BYU for its opaque enforcement of a bizarre and arcane set of rules. In other words, Davies screwed up because he broke the rules, but BYU did the same when — by implementing and enforcing those rules — it set the stage for Davies’ failure.

Davies’ experience illustrates a few problems with BYU’s Honor Code. Most importantly, the policy includes an array of rules that other institutions see as unrelated to academics or sports. If Davies got caught plagiarizing, doping, or doing some other stupid thing, his suspension from BYU’s basketball team would make sense. He alone would be accountable.

But the reality is that BYU’s Honor Code includes all sorts of regulations that have nothing to do with academics or sports. Davies might be a criminal — or he may have forgotten to shave one too many times. He could have stayed past midnight in a girl’s apartment (or stepped into a female’s bedroom). He could even have ordered a coffee at some point, or simply have worn clothing that was too tight.

The point is that while BYU’s Honor Code addresses typical collegiate issues, it also goes much further, making it that much harder to comply with. If Davies broke some of the school’s more unique rules would he really be a bad person? Would he be academically unfit? Would he be off the team at any other school? Even if Davies transgressed LDS Church doctrine — also more or less part of the Honor Code — aren’t those rules optional, with punishment meted out in heaven, for non-BYU Mormons?

Another problem this incident illustrates is that the Honor Code lumps all offenses under one umbrella. Davies could be a serial cheater, or a sloppy dresser. Who knows? As of Tuesday night BYU hadn’t said what Davies did, and I’d be surprised if the school ever divulges that information. But because this sort of feels like a KGB fantasy, where all offenses are treated as mortal sins against the regime, we’re left to guess if Davies did something serious or silly.

BYU’s decision to have a broad, extra-academic set of rules may have just wounded it on the basketball court. But the fallout isn’t limited to a shamed athlete and a disappointed fan base. After all, schools make a lot more money when their teams win. How much money will BYU lose if its team suddenly plummets? How much prestige will the school sacrifice to ensure the homogeneity of its student body? And losing face and finances doesn’t just hit the school on the basketball court, it has broad negative repercussions across all fields.

Earlier this year, in the wake of a Gawker article criticizing BYU, I wrote about the school’s image issues. This is a perfect illustration of that problem and makes the point that if BYU wants to compete — in athletics, academics, and research — it has to learn to be a school, not a monastery. It needs to modernize its Honor Code to focus on the things that matter in the university world.

In the end, could all of this have been avoided if BYU had an up-to-date code for student conduct? Possibly. Though I don’t know Davies personally, most students at the school are good people who would behave appropriately even without such stringent rules. As it is, the school sets itself up for failure when it makes it so easy to criminalize (and, therefore, victimize) its stars. It costs the school prestige, money, and influence. It scares future students away, and crushes some of those it already has — in this case, at a critical moment.

If BYU wants to succeed on the basketball court and elsewhere, it should let go of its antiquated Honor Code and focus on being an institution of higher learning.

Provo may seem quaint at times, but underneath it all there is talent that stretches far beyond these city walls. This series of articles aims to bring attention to all the musical good that’s been quickly growing, and even more quickly now that bands like Neon Trees have trailblazed the way to nationwide — if not worldwide — success.

So without further ado, I present to you two more of this town’s Next Best Things.

Empirates
Associations aside, Empirates has taken an opportunity the size of a snowflake and turned it into an avalanche. It started off late last year with a goal to win BYU’s Battle of the Bands using unknown cover songs. But with the addition of a bassist and drummer, their 3 a.m. practices quickly gave them hope in winning it with their own music. Since that win they’ve been busy, and just a year later they have performed in front of crowds of thousands and distributed over 6,000 bootlegs, demos, and EPs — all for free.

“That has been the biggest help of all, I think,” says Empirates singer and lead guitarist Travis White. “Lots of people come back to shows singing along with us, and we have no clue who they are or how they got our music.”

So what’s next?  Reaching out to the rest of the country is now their top priority.

“We’re working with a couple promotion companies that will put us on over 300 college radio stations, and we’re having lots of success with online radio already,” says Mark Donovan, the band’s rhythm guitarist. “We have been seeing a lot of new international fans as well. A fan in Mexico said she was telling her friends about us the other day, but they had already heard our stuff online. That’s kind of exciting.”

Style: British Post Punk / Indie Rock

Similar Artists: Arctic Monkeys, Franz Ferdinand, White Stripes

Likely Labels: Matador Records, Domino Records

Strongest Weapon: Hardcore determination

Largest Accomplishment: Won BYU Battle of the Bands 2009, featured on Grooveshark and Jango.com, distributed over 6000 albums

Network/Connections: Through balsy efforts to contact people in high places they have made connections with We Are Scientists, Sub Pop Records, several high-end promoters, and more.

Shark Speed
Out of all the band posters that everyone has seen on various poles around town, none have been as ingrained and recognizable as those of Shark Speed. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, they’re the ones that have a person holding a portable announcement board that say “Shark Speed” on them. Go figure.)

But behind the unique posters is a band that has already taken their marketing strategy out-of-state. Since their latest release in April 2010, they’ve hired a PR company and been raking in multiple music reviews by online blogs and magazines with some very positive results — both nationally and internationally. In fact, that’s something they recommend to any band that’s trying to stretch their arms a bit.

“Researching PR companies that have connections that reflect your particular style is huge,” says Thayne Fagg, the band’s lead singer. “Trying as hard as you can to get your stuff out of the ‘local’ level and on to a serious, nationwide band is key.”

When it comes down to it, though, Shark Speed’s not in it for the money. Hoping only that they break even, what they wish to get out of their time and effort is making music that people — and themselves — can enjoy.

Style: Indie Rock / Math Rock

Similar Artists: Minus the Bear

Likely Labels: Indie

Strongest Weapon: Strong fans and Thayne’s mustache

Largest Accomplishment: Tons of online reviews, large local fanbase

Network/Connections: Various top notch music blogs and PR companies

Rhombus is refreshed and here to bring to you the greatest and most important news in the local music scene. If you want to be up to snuff in what’s going on, look no further. Otherwise, feel free to keep the bubble alive. Maybe The Daily Universe will catch you up after it’s old news.

CBS’s often display neurophysiological symptoms — both psychiatric and somatic responses. Arctic hysteria is one that is frequently studied, or a more well-known example of a CBS in the United States is anorexia nervosa or bulimia.¹ Culture-bound syndromes are reputed to be induced by stress that occurs when there is an incongruity between role expectations and how a person feels they measure up to those expectations.

As a participant-observer in the bizarre culture that is Provo, I’ve often heard people describe students at BYU as “the cream of the crop.” Granted, any student at any university probably feels pressure to excel from parents, peers and teachers — but BYU students have the added pressure of a common religion in which strict moral standards are known and enforced.

There are certain side effects resulting from this situation that spur a cultural epitome of lifestyle.² In reality, fluctuations from the norm are bound to happen in such a population. However, the bar has already been set and many people find themselves falling short of rigid cultural envisages. Such high expectations are the perfect recipe for mass neuroses of cataclysmic proportions.

Now that we have some of the anthropological mumbo-jumbo out of the way, let’s examine a few of the syndemic nuances limited to the BYU/Provo culture , or Provo-bound syndromes:

Obsessive Dating Compulsion Disorder: If you observe Provo City itself, you will notice that many of the surrounding retail businesses are marketed towards facilitating courtship rituals. An outsider might consider Provo obsessed with dating and completely fixated on marriage as the end goal.

From my time as a participant-observer, I can’t remember a single BYU devotional in which dating/marriage was not mentioned. I’ve had professors encourage students to date and even offered extra credit to do so. The pressure to participate in courtship rituals is so palpable it’s impossible to ignore.

Old Maid Stigma: A product of the Obsessive Dating Compulsion Disorder, the Old Maid Stigma arises from feelings of inadequacy or guilt for not being married or not dating as frequently as expected. This stigma occurs in the young female population in Provo.

Typically the Old Maid Stigma is expressed at a comparatively young age — I’ve heard females as young as 19 express their feelings of insufficiency for being single. The Old Maid Stigma is sometimes self-inflicted, although informants discussed with me the interrogations they receive pertaining to their marital status on a constant basis.

Pedestrian Deviancies: Pedestrians at BYU have a reputation for being oblivious to traffic, so much so that they have been dubbed “Zoodestrians.” This behavior can mostly be attributed to general distractions and absent-mindedness; However, I’ve heard it conjectured that it comes from the feeling of invincibility — being protected by God.

RM Adjustment Syndrome: Adjusting to life after a mission can be extremely difficult for some people.  Essentially, missionaries are prescribed a certain role with rigorous duties to fulfill, and transitioning to another role (that of a returned missionary) is sometimes an arduous process. Returned missionaries cope with the adjustment in various ways. Some find laborious door-knocking reminiscent of their mission days and become salesmen.

BYU Big Brother Paranoia: Like unto Orwell’s 1984, students and professors are paranoid of BYU Big Brother. One line in the school’s Honor Code (“Encourage others in their commitment to comply with the Honor Code”) certainly doesn’t help ease this paranoia. I’ve seen professors look around suspiciously while they whisper opinions to their class in fear of an eavesdropping institution. This paranoia is rumored to have come from the Wilkinson era where purported “spies” were placed in classrooms to ensure that professors were not teaching heretical ideas.

Suppressed Rage Against University Parking Enforcement: Here, here, here and here. Enough said.

The discordance between role performance and role expectations is the basis of these neuroses, which is subsequently compounded by the dialectal relationship of the religion, the institution, and the people. These are just some of the many culture-bound syndromes that inflict the idiosyncratic culture that is Provo. And that’s why I love it.

———————

¹ You wouldn’t find anyone in Ethiopia barfing up meals on purpose.
² Quintessential checklist: go to BYU, go on a mission, get married immediately thereafter, and reproduce like rabbits.

Evolutionarily speaking, it would be advantageous to develop an attachment to a single mate to foster a stable environment in which to raise children. Unfortunately, anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher of Rutgers University purported that this attachment only lasts about four years — or about enough time to raise a child.

According to Darwin’s theory of survival of the fittest, our primordial ancestors would have selected towards those traits. And that is why we display those tendencies today. (I totally think Evolutionary Psychology is, more often than not, just an excuse for poor behavior, but more on that later.) The adaptive short-term monogamous theory accounts somewhat for the exorbitant rates of divorce in this country.

You know what works? Arranged marriages. Those marriages are based on something real — filial duty and money. Or you could abandon the entire institution of marriage as we know it and live like the Nayar of southern India, a matrifocal group where the women live together permanently but several men come and go. (I personally wouldn’t mind having as many partners as I choose, but alas I digress.)

I seriously doubt that any of us in this culture would let our parents pick our spouses and I just don’t think the Nayar set up would fly either. Is there no hope then for a happy marriage? You could ignore everything I just said and go by Dr. Spaceman’s (from 30 Rock) philosophy, “Science is whatever we want it to be.” Or you could change your paradigm.

Let’s look again at arranged marriages. The reason why they work is because there are no fairytale expectations upfront, just family respect and business. Many couples in these marriages state that they do, in fact, eventually love their partner — but it’s a much different kind of love than what we expect.

I’m not saying you should enter into a loveless marriage, rather the contrary. While considering a spouse don’t look for Edward Cullen (believe me, you don’t want to be in a relationship with a guy like him — hence, the bitterness), look for a friend. Someone who you can rely on, because when those euphoric neurotransmitters for dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin etc. (neurochemicals associated with love, lust and attraction) dwindle, you’re gonna want to be with someone you still like to be around.

All things considered, I guess I’m not exactly the expert on getting relationships to work so you’ll have to consult someone else. That said, good luck — I’m off to go find Prince Charming.

The Trees have exploded on the national music scene well enough to have scored appearances on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno and Jimmy Kimmel Live, toured with The Killers, 30 Seconds to Mars and Mutemath, and had their single “Animal” placed on Billboard’s Hot 100… and much more. I’m sure there are plenty of fans of theirs that are reading this and are mentally listing all their major accomplishments I’ve missed.

But this article isn’t about Neon Trees.  It’s about what we have coming next.

Because of them, Provo may be getting a different eye from the music industry — and we just so happen to have a couple good things in the mix to surprise them with. As some of you know, several bands based (or at least at one time based) out of Utah County made it into this years SXSW Music Festival in Austin, Texas, one of the biggest annual festivals in the nation. Music from other local bands has been heard on MTV and other network television shows — and if you think we’ve exhausted our resources, you’re simply out of your mind.

At one time I was convinced that our town was one of the weaker music scenes in the States, but compared percentage-wise to other larger cities, we’ve got a pretty good track record so far. So, for your information, I’ve compiled a couple interviews with bands that have dug their feet into the rocky ground of the music industry and are ready to show the world what they’ve got.

More than a couple of these bands have already been featured by Rhombus, of course, but before you complain and post your disdainful commentary below, know that this is not another album or concert review — this is a compendium of some noteworthy acts whose names you’re most likely to see around soon in more magazines than this one.

Mudbison
Their name bound to be bigger than the animal it refers to, Mudbison has made some pretty big leaps recently. Spencer Russell –brother of Columbia-signed folk artist Isaac Russell — has been working his arse off on getting things in line, such as recording/mixing/mastering, pumping out music videos, and trying to get a tour off the ground. All the hard work is paying off though, as is evident by conducting a simple YouTube search and finding that the band’s very newly added videos have already garnered over 5,000 views collectively. It’d be my guess that not all of those are just from Provo either.

Upon being asked what drives him to keep working at his music career, Russell replies, “Maybe it’s teaching people morals I’ve learned through the stories I write. Maybe it’s my love for writing a tune that gives people chills. It’s probably both. Aesthetic pleasure is something I love to give, and this is the best way, I guess.”

Style: Indie pop, singer/songwriter
Sounds like: Badly Drawn Boy meets Sufjan Stevens meets Beck
Likely labels to see them on: Asthmatic Kitty, XL Recordings, Sub Pop Records
Strongest weapon: A killer album, Russell’s ingenious songwriting ability
Biggest accomplishment: Their unique sound
Network/Connections: With a brother signed to Columbia Records and a father deeply ingrained in the film industry, Russell is likely to get his band’s music into good hands.

Imagine Dragons
I don’t know of any band that has received a quicker hype than these guys. Coming out of a victory at BYU’s Battle of the Bands in late 2009, they had achieved “Provo fame” within a few short months and began packing Velour and other venues/events to the brim shortly thereafter. After a move to Las Vegas and a couple lineup changes, ID is now the fastest growing band in Sin City — but they still aren’t content.

Lately they’ve been hitting areas nearby like L.A., Phoenix and San Francisco, all while maintaining their huge fan base here in Utah. Don’t think for a second that Imagine Dragons will fall by the wayside — you’ll soon be seeing their records everywhere you look.

Style: Indie pop/rock
Sounds like: The Killers thrown back to a Tears for Fears/Depeche Mode concert.
Likely labels: Warner Music Group, EMI
Strongest weapon: A plethora of involved fans.
Biggest accomplishment: Showcased at SXSW 2010, shared stage with Blue October, Jet, Kelly Clarkson, Presidents of the U.S., and more.
Network/Connections: Friends — and relatives — in high places.

Eyes Lips Eyes
Having just a couple days ago changed their name from ER (which had been changed from Elizabethan Report), Eyes Lips Eyes has been cooking what you’ve been smelling. After playing a couple shows with these guys, I can attest to the level of professionalism and skill they have — things that undoubtedly will help them achieve their goal of making music their sole income. That’s what influenced their decision to move to L.A. last summer, and what continues to push them now as they have raised their marketing to a whole new level.

Spencer, the band’s guitarist, gives this piece of advice to other bands that are trying to make a living out of music: “In the end, the stuff that works the best is the stuff that no one has tried yet. So being willing to venture out and take some risks with promotion ends up paying off in the end. Once people catch up, though, you have to find something new.”

Style: Dance rock, indie/alternative
Sounds like: Interpol gets in a food fight with Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Likely labels: EMI, Warner Bros., Matador Records
Strongest weapon: Their stage energy coupled with their promoting energy.
Biggest accomplishment: Shows with The Raconteurs, Spoon, The Black Keys, Bob Dylan, and releasing two albums.
Network/Connections: Have found good friends while in LA, but no shew-ins — They’ve succeeded through blood, sweat and tears alone.

Stay tuned for some more bands to be featured in this 3-part series.

This week, the magazine’s editor Steve Pierce and resident armchair economist Daniel Anderson contemplate the reigning hot topics of the day — including the most recent (and totally unexpected!) Bachelorette trainwreck, Eclipse‘s total dominance at the box office, local favorite Isaac Russell’s new major-label EP, and the greatest (and worst) American presidents. Enjoy!

You can stream the podcast by simply clicking on the link below, or you can download it to your computer by right-clicking the link and selecting “Save Link As” from the menu.

Listen to: Rhombus Podcast 019 — Rhombus Roundtable (2010.07.12)

Sure, it’s been a little rough lately; As a not-for-profit, volunteer-operated organization, Rhombus often takes a back seat to other things when life gets busy. Is it desirable? No. Is it reality? Unfortunately, yes. But regardless of how busy life gets or how intermittent the posting schedule sometimes becomes, we’ll continue to do our best to fulfill our original mission of bringing you intelligent and interesting writing on the topics you actually care about — now and in the months and years to come.

Running an online publication in the era of the 24-hour news cycle is not easy. Consistently feeding the beast is a foreboding and persistent challenge. And we’re certainly not perfect at it, but we’ll continue to try and hopefully you will stick with us through the rough patches. After all, the fact that Rhombus still exists and some people actually still care now, a year after our initial launch, is quite a miracle in and of itself.

Truthfully, it’s a miracle that would have never happened without people faithfully reading the articles, sharing them online with their friends, talking them up at shows and gatherings, and always coming back for more. In essence, the message is this: We don’t survive without you — and, as is evidenced by this post, we’re still surviving.  So thank you. Thanks for sticking around. Thanks for a great first year — one we hope to improve upon moving forward.

Now, as a wonderful birthday present to us (and even an early/late one to you), enjoy a new video I discovered on the Web today from Rhombus favorite Isaac Russell and have now embedded below. In our vaunted opinion, there’s no better celebration music than the sweet, sweet tunes of Sir Isaac of Russell. Happy birthday to us!

Things like that keep him up at night.

Raised in Provo, 27-year-old Jess Smart Smiley is what many would call right-brained — and hopelessly so. Making music and art is his passion, his career, his life. Without an ounce of guile — and with an infectious twinkle in his eye — Jess possesses a unique, perpetual excitement that seems ready to burst out of his otherwise demure persona.

I first met Jess while I was writing for my college newspaper and got the the chance to interview him at his home in Orem where we sat down (during which time he told his son he’d be sent to the “police store” if caught as he struck out on the sidewalk wearing merely a diaper).

I’ll be honest — in my line of expertise, I get a lot of less-than-talented musicians requesting coverage and promotion. In addition, and with a name like Jess Smart Smiley, I was less than inclined to take an earnest look at what this guy really had to offer. I soon came around, though. This endorsement is in no way prompted by personal gain, but it has to be done—in part because Jess, himself, would never tell you he’s great, and also because the man is wildly talented.

Although he’s been drawing far longer than playing music, he’s been performing for the last ten years — wielding his guitar and sparse, Bon Iver-styled indie-folk vocals. Fairly recently, Jess released a collection of songs entitled “Things That Light Up,” available for free on the Internet, after realizing he had five hours of songs recorded on his computer.

On the aforementioned tracks in the collection (he is careful not to say album), it’s not uncommon to hear ambient sound effects in the background like birds chirping, a phone ringing or his young son enjoying a repeat viewing of 101 Dalmatians since the songs were all recorded at home. Oddly enough, instead of masking disappointment, Jess enjoys the added soundscape, believing it to add to the authenticity and message of his music.

“There’s nothing professional about it,” he said, partially smirking but with an unmistakable fire in his eyes. “My goal is to make it something people can relate to. It doesn’t really fall into a category of music — just call it genuine or sincere. I’m not trying to make it a big presentation, I just really mean it. My songs are about people working hard and struggling; having dreams and having dreams broken. I feel like my music would have a stronger impact if just a few people really got hope out of my music, instead of just a song everyone can dance to.”

However, music is more of a hobby in Smiley’s artistic repertoire. He maintains his first love and “native language” is his artwork, which he simultaneously does to pay the bills, and in a variety of mediums — producing album artwork, concert posters, laptop covers, coloring books, portraits and more. A self-proclaimed “rotten kid” growing up, Jess spent most of his younger years in his room sans Nintendo or TV, his only companions books and blank pages, which is how he developed this language.

Due to be released next Halloween, Jess recently completed a 135-page all-ages graphic novel for what he dubbed “one of the top three comic book publishers in the world.” (I trust the claim, partially because of his sincere honesty and partially due to the fact that despite my well-deserved place in geekdom, I know little about comic books.)

In February, he submitted said graphic novel, entitled “Upside Down,” to two other publishers who weren’t interested and, on a whim, sent it to another publisher who immediately wanted to buy it and turn it into a three-part series. “You could go to Barnes and Noble next year and see my book there,” he eagerly told me.

Regardless of medium — or portion of the brain utilized, for that matter — Jess is a believer in doing what you love, an advocate of finding and cultivating passions and individuality. Along with the majority of our population — especially in these uncompromising economic times — Jess constantly worries about making ends meet and supporting his family. However, happiness, not simply financial security, is what he deems most important.

“There’s this gap between where we are and all these places we could be in life,” he said. “I have a wife and a kid that want me to be happy — that makes them happy. I’m going to be happy if I’m doing what I love all day and then come home to the people I love. I really believe what I do to be a force in helping people.”

Jess has something akin to a “no regrets” policy in his life and career, believing if he doesn’t pursue what he really wants wholeheartedly that he’ll spend the rest of his life wondering what could’ve been. “I have so much more to offer than just clocking in and out,” he added. Besides being described as “down to earth” and “one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet” by friends and associates, Jess has also received praise as someone who has found innovative ways to make money with his unique talent and skills.

So far it seems to be working.

“If you’re doing what you love, then everyone you talk to will be better and you’ll inspire others to go after their passions,” Smiley said, delivering a seemingly cliche remark with absolute resolve. “I feel a moral obligation to go after what I love. I think there’d be a lot less conflict if we all did that.”

Like the lyrics penned in John Lennon’s timeless “Imagine,” Jess portrays the idea of hope and unity: “You may say that I’m a dreamer/But I’m not the only one/I hope someday you’ll join us/And the world will be as one.”

For a streaming/downloadable version of ‘”Things That Light Up,” as well as a collection of Jess’s entrepreneurial endeavors, visit www.jess-smiley.com.

When I got back from my trip, I kept thinking about scooters — a lot — until I finally bought a used 2003 Genuine Stella. In the time since, I’ve learned that a scooter can be a practical, exciting, and stylish way to get around — and with the warmer spring weather, this is the perfect time to start cruising on two wheels.

So, if you’re thinking about getting a scooter, here are some things to think about first.

Price
Lets face it, for the college student on a budget, this might be the most important factor. The thing to keep in mind is that while you can buy a scooter on the side of the road for $800, to get a decent bike that’s going to be safe, you’re going to need to spend around $2000 or more. That may seem like a lot, but it’s a bargain compared to the damage and injuries that cheap scooters often cause. On the plus side, name-brand scooters have long life spans, and occasionally you can find small, old ones on Craigslist or KSL.com for under $1000.

Brand
More or less, there are two kinds of scooters: Chinese imports and everything else. When it comes to Chinese imports, stay away. Dave Hurtado, owner of the Scooter Lounge in Orem, has seen Chinese scooters catch on fire, front wheels fall off (while moving), and a variety of other safety issues. So do yourself a favor and avoid suicide by sticking with respected brands like Honda, Yamaha, Kymco, or Genuine. In the long run, they’ll be cheaper and won’t fall apart while you’re going 40 mph in traffic on University Ave.

Size
Scooters are classified by their engine size. The smallest is usually 50cc and they go up to 250cc and higher. (The “cc” stands for cubic centimeter.) If you just want to run around town and maybe pick up groceries, you’ll probably only need a 50cc scooter. If you’ll be on major streets or travel more than a few miles, a 125cc or 150cc will be better able to keep up with traffic. Only scooters that are 250cc or more are freeway legal.

Style
The kind of scooter you ride can be as much of a fashion statement as you want it to be. Some, like the Genuine Buddy, Yamaha Vino, or Kymco People have a retro look. If you’re going for a more aggressive, off-road aesthetic, the Genuine Rattler or the Honda Ruckus might suit you better. I went with the Genuine Stella because it’s the only metal-bodied, manual shift scooter currently being sold new in the United States. (Basically it looks like a vintage Vespa.) In any case, there’s probably a scooter out there with just your style — and doing a little research can help you find it.

Laws
There are three basic laws you need to know: you have to get a license, you have to register your scooter, and you have to get insurance. Though some people will neglect to do these things, getting pulled over without any one of them can result in big fines. (Trust me, I know.) Luckily, they’re all relatively easy and cheap to do. Getting your license and registration work the same way they do for any other vehicle. Insurance will usually be less than $200 a year and Dairyland, Geico and Progressive all offer motorcycle coverage. (Legally and as far as insurance companies are concerned, a scooter is just a small motorcycle.)

Gear
Though there are no helmet laws in Utah, wearing some form of head protection is a really, really good idea. When buying a helmet, the most important thing to check is that it’s DOT-approved. DOT approval means that the Department of Transportation has safety tested it and ensures that it can actually protect you. A helmet that is DOT-approved will say so on the back.

Hopefully, these tips help you find the scooter that’s right for you. There is a lot of information out there, so talk to people. Visit the Scooter Lounge or other reputable dealers in the area. And once you do, look me up and we’ll go riding together.

I must first say it’s wonderful that we do, on occasion, find some diversity in the indie folk-laden market we call the Provo music scene.  This particular occasion is brought to you by Fictionist.

If you have not yet heard of Fictionist and have lived or been going to school in Provo for more than six months, you’ve probably been covering your eyes and your ears, because they’re everywhere. Walk to campus, I guarantee you’ll see at least three of their posters. Maybe on your way back you’ll catch some of the sidewalk chalk at the intersections advertising for their upcoming shows. And if you’ve been reading The Daily Universe at all in the past while, you’ll have read their name in various articles and perhaps taken a gander at their photo on the front page.  They’ve developed a knack for getting the word out, and it’s obvious that it works — their local shows often have an attendance in the hundreds.

For those that have not been under a rock lately, you’ll have already taken note of the psychedelic posters plastered on telephone poles and street lights all around and why they’re up. Fictionist’s new full-length album, Lasting Echo, was recently officially released. But if you want to know what you’re getting into, look no further. Welcome to Fictionist’s Lasting Echo, the official Rhombus review.

Minimalist. Simple. Superficial. Such words could never apply to a description of this album, evident even within the first 30 seconds of sound. “Always,” the album’s first track, is nothing short of an out-of-body vacation through space and beyond, with its intricately layered guitar work and complex rhythms. There is one part where the song arrives at a familiar four-beat pattern, but that quickly goes away and you are left swimming in the enormity that is the world — or lack of world — that Fictionist creates for you. It is out there you will stay for the entirety of the album.

Things calm down with the next track, “Human Wings,” which has a radio-ready feel due to its easy-listening quality, letting the listener stand on some solid ground and catch their breath. Continuing onward you run into effect-heavy songs such as “Blue-Eyed Universe” (my least favorite of the ten), “Time to Time,” “Deeper and Deeper,” and “Fire Don’t Set You Free.” These songs contain the signature sound Fictionist aims for, and it is doubtful anyone but them could ever figure out how to recreate it. (If you’ve been to one of their live shows, you know how crowded it looks once all six of them, their instruments, and their oodles of effects pedals are on stage.) Mixed in between these songs are gems such as “Sunshine of a Shell” and “Strangers in the Dark,” which both offer ballad-like qualities with the way they build up to a worthy climax.

Throughout the album are a few new tricks Fictionist has put into action.  One difference fans will quickly realize when comparing Lasting Echo to the band’s first album Invisible Hand is lead singer Stuart Maxfield’s vocals; there is a ton more passion, and a more liberal use of dynamics such as volume and pitch give this album a surprising twist. You may also notice Fictionist seem to have discovered what Coldplay learned long ago — the organ is a very handy tool.  Though not present in every song, it’s obvious they’ve taken tips from albums like X&Y, where the organ is utilized like a basecoat for an elaborate painting.

The lyrics match the complexity of the music and remind me an awful lot of the poetry of Carl Sandburg, if not a tad more ambiguous. And though Fictionist is not the first place I would think to find a love song, few songwriters exist that can produce such elegant wording as “If I ever saw a reflection of God, it was when you saved me from all the things I was.”

My major complaint with this album is its lack of punch. Overall the album is strong, but there is no one song that feels solid enough to hold up on its own, like “Tightrope Hill” was for Invisible Hand. There are some bands that are pushing so hard for the success of their singles that their album as a whole comes short; this album seems to have the opposite issue. There are certainly tracks I enjoy and I appreciate the musicianship in all of them, but after finishing the album there are no hooks that ring out in my mind, nothing that has stuck.

Ultimately I give Lasting Echo a 7.5 out of 10 — it failed to strike me down with excitement and wonder, but it did not disappoint in the least. I likely will appreciate it more and more as I continue listening and unwrapping the many layers.

“But,” as our friend LeVar Burton says in our favorite educational television show, “you don’t have to take my word for it.” Go to one of their local shows and see for yourself. If you find any money in your pocket, you’ll probably come home with their CD.

Scott Manning is a music correspondent for Rhombus.